Day 6, Chronological Bible Study Timeline. Map. Go to today's Bible reading (use your browser arrow to return): Job 4–7
Appropriate Words
Note: this Bible study is also available in audio format
We meant well. We came to visit someone who was sick or in trouble. We thought our words would comfort him, but we spoke the wrong words at the wrong time. Has this ever happened to us? At these times, we might make one of the following responses:
• We “kick” ourselves for being so insensitive.
•We defend ourselves. If someone challenges us, we bray and kick like a donkey.
Proverbs 25:11 (NIV) says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” When we choose the right words for the right occasions, what we say will be helpful, a great encouragement, and a beautiful expression of love. Unfortunately, Job’s three friends haven’t learned this. Let’s hope our response is to encourage the one who suffers.
God allows Satan to take away everything Job holds dear to tempt him to curse his Creator. But, after losing all his wealth, family, servants, and respect, Job remains faithful.
Satan is galled. Satan tells God his servant Job will curse him to his face if he allows him to attack Job’s health. God gives Satan permission to test Job physically. Now, Job is not only grieving, but he has a painful skin condition, which today’s medical experts believe is scabies. He’s miserable! Apparently, in Job’s day, there were no doctors or remedies. He moans and cries out with pain.
Three of his friends come to comfort him. After sitting in silence for seven days and listening to Job express his agony and despair, one of Job’s friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, can no longer keep quiet. He has a word to speak, which he thinks comes from some heavenly being.
An Inconsiderate Response
Dreams were significant in the days of the patriarchs (the first fathers of the faith). The Bible didn’t exist, and God spoke through night visions. But how could Job’s friend be sure it was the Almighty speaking? Are all dreams from him?
No, Satan is a deceiver. He appears to Eliphaz in a night vision, scaring him half to death, and whispers to him while he is asleep: “Can a mortal be more righteous than God? Can a man be more pure than his Maker?” (Job 4:17, NIV). The supernatural being does nothing to calm Eliphaz’s fear, as God’s angels often did (Genesis 15:1; Matthew 1:20).
How does Eliphaz reply to Job? After complimenting Job on his kindness, integrity, and righteousness, Eliphaz asks, “Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed?” (Job 4:7, NIV). Eliphaz implies Job mustn’t be innocent or God wouldn’t punish him—he only punishes the guilty. His friend continues, “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty” (Job 5:17, NIV). Eliphaz implies Job’s is suffering because God is disciplining him. While these two thoughts are often true in people’s lives, they aren’t always true. Eliphaz gives no consideration to Job’s illness or state of mind.
Pain affects our response
What is Job’s response? In his grave illness, Job replies,
If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales! It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas—no wonder my words have been impetuous. The arrows of the Almighty are in me, my spirit drinks in their poison; God’s terrors are marshaled against me (Job 6:1-4, NIV).
Job confesses he is speaking out of pain. He can’t even eat food; it makes him ill (Job 6:7).
Be a sympathetic friend
Job desires loyalty from his friends. He says, “A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty,” (Job 6:14, NIV). But his friends are undependable when a crisis comes. He continues, “Now you ... have proved to be of no help; you see something dreadful and are afraid” (Job 6:21, NIV).
Doesn’t this happen to us? We should speak encouraging words, but we offer advice. Or, we’re afraid we might have to make some sacrifices to help. Don’t worry, Job consoles them. I am in a horrible circumstance, but I will not ask you for money. Job isn’t begging for help; he’s honest with them (6:28-30). He sees no sin in expressing grief over his calamity.
Grieving our losses
Is it wrong to cry about our misfortunes? Some Christians think so, but consider some famous Bible characters who we grieved over situations:
- David mourned the loss of King Saul and his son Jonathan after they died in battle.
- Jonah was distressed over his rebellious behavior while in the belly of the great fish.
- Jeremiah cries over the pitiful state of Jerusalem when Babylon would take the Israelites into captivity.
- Habakkuk would cry out to God as Babylon attacks Judah’s nation and takes her people into exile.
- Jesus took up a lament regarding Jerusalem (Matthew 23:37).
Is it wrong to grieve misfortunes? No, God has made us in his image. The LORD wants us to be honest with him and others.
How can we know when and what words to speak?
We can discern what to say by praying,sensitive observation, and listening. This picture with the acrostic for “apples” is helpful.
This picture with the acrostic for “apples” would be helpful to learn and practice.
Ways to Speak Encouraging Words
Sympathize: I am sure this hurts, and I can’t imagine the pain you are going through now.
Physical Touch: Let me give you a hug
Intercessory support: I am praying for you
Assuring words: I care about you—you are important. Do you know how special you are to God and how much he loves you?
Support: I am here for you.
Discussion
What should we say to other Chrisitans who are experiencing incredible pain or loss?
Is it wrong to express tears or grief over our situation? Why or why not?
How can we be a sympathetic friend?
Focus Verse
Proverbs 25:11 (NIV) “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
Write a private prayer response to today’s Bible study:
Please send your comments to me, Rod, the author
Looking Ahead: How do we Endure Tough Times? Find out in our Next Lesson.
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