Day 153, Chronological Bible Study Timeline. Map. Go to today’s Bible reading (use your browser arrow to return): Proverbs 25–27
Is Gossip so Bad?
“Hee Haw” was an American television variety show featuring country music and humor with fictional rural Kornfield Kounty as a backdrop. It aired on CBS-TV from 1969–1971 before a twenty-year run in local syndication. One of the scenarios from the show featured various female members of the cast surrounding a washtub and clothes wringer singing:
Now, we’re not ones to go ‘round spreadin’ rumors, Why, really we’re just not the gossipy kind, No, you’ll never hear one of us repeating gossip, So you’d better be sure and listen close the first time! *
We laugh at that song! Then the comedy routine continues with juicy morsels of “truth” shared about their neighbors, and again we all laugh. But is gossip funny? Is it harmless?
In today’s Bible reading, we are in the book of Proverbs. King Solomon wrote most of these wise sayings when he was at the height of his reign. He was the wisest man who ever lived (and the wealthiest). The LORD gave him great insights into all of life, and people came from great distances to listen to him. In this book, he wrote many things about gossip.
The Temptation to Gossip
“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19, NIV). Do we talk too much? If we do, it is tempting to gossip. Gossip is like a box of someone else’s candy sitting on a table—we want to open it up and take one when we know we should not.
In the same way, we know we should not open up people’s lives and let others see what is in the wrapped morsels. However, we know the stories are juicy and sweet, and it is difficult to resist. And, when people have nothing worthwhile to say, they often gossip, opening up other people’s secrets and adding their own flavor to the stories, with hopes they will be even more juicy and sweet to the taste.
An Alternative to Gossip
Instead of opening up the secrets of others, we should open up the treasures in God’s Word, the Bible. King David, Solomon’s father, was also a poet. He tells us to “taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” In another Psalm it is written, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” (119:103, NIV) David writes again, “I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders” (Psalm 9:1, NIV). There are so many things to praise the LORD for that there should be no room for gossip.
Warning about Gossipers
King Solomon warns us,
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret (Proverbs 11:13, NIV).
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much (Proverbs 20:19, NIV).
Perhaps we do not talk too much, but we know someone who does. We certainly do not want to tell the gossiper secrets, even if we might consider her a good friend in other ways. If she shares secrets about others, she will sooner or later share our secrets.
We should not listen to a talebearer; there are many things we do not need to know. Sometimes knowing this “additional information” can cause our feelings to change about a person, whether what is shared is true or false.
Stopping Gossip
What are some ways to stop a gossiping person?
We may have heard or repeated this common saying, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words [a later variation, “names” ] will never harm me.” ** Is this true, or can words really hurt people?
- We should not add to the stories of someone’s life. King Solomon says, “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down” (Proverbs 26:20, NIV). In other words, if we know additional information or rumors about a person, we should consider how sharing it with others might be harmful to her; we should avoid adding fuel to the fire. Instead, we can change the subject, share something positive about that person, or praise the Lord for something else.
- We should avoid making friends with a gossiper.
- We can challenge a talebearer by asking if what she shared is absolutely true and why she is sharing it with you. Questioning the motives of a person who tells tales will usually stop her in her tracks.
King Solomon says,
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18, NIV).
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends (Proverbs 16:28, NIV).
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts (Proverbs 18:8 and 26:22, NIV)
A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin (Proverbs 26:28, (NIV).
Is gossip harmful? Yes! Without a doubt, it is damaging. Often tales are shared with the express intent to hurt others. The tongue of the wise, however, brings healing, not hurt.
How Will We Use Our Tongues?
How will we use our tongues, for good or evil, for healing or hurting, or for praise? Jesus Christ saved us from evil practices. A gossiper behaves like Satan, who is called “the accuser of the brethren” (Revelation 12:9,10). In the book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul says,
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (Ephesians 4:20-25, NIV)We certainly do not want to be like Satan—we want to be like Jesus Christ! He can forgive our sins, give us peace and spiritual life. Jesus can help us change our speech. We can use our tongues for praising God and telling of his wonders. We can build each other up instead of tearing each other down.
Discussion
Is gossip so bad? Why or why not?
What can we do to stop gossip?
Instead of gossiping, what does God want us to do?
Focus Verse
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
** The Christian Recorder of March 1862, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church; from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
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Looking Ahead: In our Next Lesson King Solomon and others give some Leadership Advice in the book of Proverbs.
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